Elspeth

Today

2010-01-04T11:25:00.003+11:00

Christmas was good, spent too much, ate too much, slept lots, feel like I actually caught up on some stuff. Now its back to work and normality.... well kinda....

Tagged (extra post - yep two in one day)

2008-04-28T16:21:00.003+10:00

Ahhhhh Liisa tagged me

I am tagged to describe my life in six words, so here goes.....

random thoughts and deeds running amock

Hmmm think I shall tag Simone and Stacey {evil grin}

How I love shopping - NOT

2008-04-28T15:20:00.004+10:00

I really, really, really really reallllyyyy detest taking my youngest daughter shopping. For one very simple reason she runs off.

But on Saturday I had no other option after all SHE was the one needing new shoes. I figured it was easier if I took the older two with me so they could chase I mean help look after her.

Normally Abs hates getting new shoes, usually Char and I end up holding her down while we try a pair on her and pray they fit then buy those ones, but this time I tried to make her more excited about the prospect by suggesting to her that we go and buy her some pretty sparkly new shoes like the faeries wear (well anything is worth a try eh?)

So 5 of us went off to the local mall - Lucky for G he was working! First stop the shoe shop. Oh wow how lucky was I - Dora the explorer shoes and oh my they FITTED. Ok so we had to hold onto her and stop her from running out of the shop while I paid for them but at least there was no tantrums!

So shoes done I figured we could call into big W and pick up a couple of things for the girls and J that was my first mistake.

As soon as we entered the shop Ab's gave a giggle and ran! and I mean RAN, I had J in the pram and knew there was no way I was gonna manage running around the shoppers with the pram in front of me - I looked at her sisters and said "think you better run after her" Char gave me the usual 15yo daughter response and Ys ended up running after Ab's. I sighed and sent Charl following while I rushed and grabbed the stuff we needed for J ect.

a few mins later Charl reappeared on her own then Ys who was very distressed as she couldn't find Ab's. I left the older 2 with Ja who by now was getting distressed himself as he needed a feed. and I started searching.

Now as the name suggests Big W is BIG and searching for a 2 yo is pretty impossible, I ran from one side to the other shouting her name asking people if they had seen her and getting a tad scared - ok very bloody scared.

I figured if she got close to the entrance and bolted I would have lost her; so quickly I went to the front of the shop and told security, they sent me to another area so it could be announced over the loud speaker. Then everyone can look for my dear daughter...

I was scared, very scared, especially as recently there have been a few attempted abductions in our area, I was alternating feeling cross at her for running and desperately upset - so I was so visibly relived when I saw the security guard with her.

And her excuse for running off?

"But mummy I was finding monies for shopping"

Sigh!

By this point I had decided enough was enough and sod the cup of coffee I was desperate for -I wanted HOME!

So we all jumped in the car and set off....

Suddenly Charl shouted "Mum Mum move your head NOW...... nooooo towards me" I looked at her - yes she looked scared

"OMG MUM ITS A HUGE SPIDER" she screamed

"Ummm shit" I thought "is it poisonous"

Then Ys obviously noticed it and started screaming.....

Abs decided cos Ys was screaming so should she.....

I decided at this point stopping the car was the best option

I pulled over and turned around - slowly.... yep there was a HUGE Huntsman spider, as I looked it ran across the ceiling of the car to the back door on the side opposite me. By now all 3 girls where screaming - (I have no idea how Ja stayed asleep!) and Charl was out of the car and flung opened the back door for the spider to get out. I ran to the passenger side to 'prod' the spider to remove itself of its free trip out. Once removed Charl and I jumped back in rather sharply and I drove back.

Once home Ja got his long awaited feed and I vowed (once again) not to take Abs shopping................

Another cold!

2008-04-02T10:31:00.002+11:00

I friggin' hate being ill, yea I know so do the rest of the world. I tend to think of it as an inconvenience more than anything. The not being able to breath properly, the nosebleeds when I blow my nose to much and the general feeling of absolute shitty-ness. I tend to think - I can't be ill - I dont have time for this, looking after 5 umm I mean 4 kids (sorry G) its def a full time job and if I get behind in the washing ect, it piles up so friggin' fast.

But I do realise if I dont try to take it easy I will only make it worse - I know this well from past experience. So I will force myself to sit down and not do too much.

But the sun is shining and the garden calls me and Ja is asleep and Abi could run off some of that excess energy she has.........

*beep* sorry this post has now ended due to the weather

And summer was when?

2008-03-31T13:37:00.002+11:00

And so I add another new blog to my list, speaking to spikeaddicted on my msn she told me that she had been reading my archives (wow she must have been bored) so I spent a few minutes delving into them myself, have to be honest its odd looking back like that, but much easier than keeping an offline diary. The ones of where Ab's was born bring back memories, I guess I should have done some when Ja way born, but I got so little time.

The fact he was born during the long summer hols here was a blessing though, I totally enjoyed spending my time not having to worry about getting up to get the kids to school - roll on next hols!
Plus summer wasn't hot - far from it in fact, I reckon Autumn is a lot more sunnier! Which did mean I wasn't desperately trying to keep him cool. Abs was still at daycare though so I did have to get up to a routine twice a week this was mainly to keep her place open, its still hellish trying to get childcare round here.

One thing I did start doing after he was born is getting some of my shopping delivered from organic feast - damn good idea, with a large family it felt like I was always needing to go the supermarket, now I go to coles once a week and get them to deliver the rest!

The garden which I worked so hard on when I first moved to this house, went totally to weed during the later part of my pregnancy - its just soooo hard to do anything when you feel like your carrying twins (I know I wasnt!) plus, the fact I was feeling the heat so badly didn't help. But this weekend when Ja was asleep I managed to actually do a bit, I think though it could be a long time till its back to rights.

Hmmm maybe I should bribe the kids..........

Time is an illusion

2008-03-30T07:17:00.002+11:00

Sleep is a precious commodity these days.

With two children under the age of 3 its a rather hectic household and to be honest I dont think I could cope if it wasnt for the older two helping out.

These two fantastic children do chores these days not to earn pocket money but to earn PC or PS2 time - suits me fine though!

And so I guess 8 months is a rather long time between posts, and for those of you wondering.....

I did get the birth I wanted and it was fantastic.

2 hours in the end, no drugs 9lb 1 oz, slight tearing, and G delivered him in a water birth, yes him *lol* after three girls a him.

I would say I will spare the gory details but to be honest there wasnt really any. All i will say is a water birth is def the easy option!

I am also back at work two days a week :( I would rather be at home but I cant really afford it and things move so fast in IT that if I took too long off I would be out of date.

This does seem a short post but in reality there is so much to actually talk about it would last forever so I will just try and get back into it slowly.

One reason I was prompted to update is my friend Simone who started up a blog (see blogrolling list) "On the Wings of Dragonflies" rather nifty title I though. Anyways time to see what has been happening on other blogs and possibly clean out my blog rolling list :S

Birthing Rights

2007-07-05T15:35:00.001+10:00

I decided that I wanted to have my baby at the local Birthing Centre, this to me seemed a logical idea, basically I go in have the bub and can be at home in 6 hours. This might seem odd to some, but when your up to bub no 4, all you really want to do is be at home. The only reason I'm not interested in a home birth is I don't want to do the cleaning up!

There is one problem - I am a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) I have had 2 normal births since the C-section, but I am still classed as a VBAC.

My first 2 children where born in the UK, Daughter no 1, went into distress, its a long story and I am not really surprised she did, but it meant the water birth I so craved for became out of my reach. Daughter no 2 ended up being a ventouse delivery, this was mainly because I had opted for an epidural - just in case of a repeat c-section. In reality though I was more in control than in my first birthing experience, unfortunately due to the cord getting caught she ended up being assisted.

As you can understand from my previous experiences I was terrified when finding myself pregnant for a third time, I had no idea how I was going to cope with the birth. Plus it was a new experience for my husband, and all my friends where on the other side of the world. I was scared, no scrap that - bloody terrified!

I decided to have my baby at the local hospital and consequently booked in and started seeing the midwifes there. They where brilliant, very supportive, but the thing that really stood out what how positive they all where. My last few appointments before birth where all handled by one midwife who really helped me allay my fears. I actually felt positive about it all.

Eventually 1 day overdue I went into labour, we stayed at home for a while then made our way to hospital, being a VBAC I was expecting continuous monitoring, but it didnt happen (un/luckily?) the girl across the corridor, was having a horrible time and the midwifes kinda left us to it. I didnt mind, I was quite happy with my CD's and gas and air.

When I suddenly felt the urge to push, G called for the midwifes and the one who had done my last few appointments was the one who caught daughter no 3 as she literally shot out.

I felt so exhilarated, I had finally achieved a 'normal' birth, I cannot put into words how it was.

Once I was at home the same midwife did the post visit check up. I think it made a real difference to the whole experience.

So finding myself pregnant for a 4th time, I really want a simple delivery, the midwife who delivered the last one works at the local birthing center, which is what now exists as the maternity ward on the hospital closed down.

However they are not suppose to take VBACS, I went into see the midwifes there and after speaking to them (and sobbing - what a wuss I am) they agreed to take me as long as the obstetrician at the main hospital says its ok.

I have an appointment to see him on the 17th. this is my last chance at the water birth I so wanted almost 15 years ago. I dont know what to say to him really apart from what is in my heart.

I know all the risks, I have researched this so well, now its in the hands of another.

Mother Nature

2007-06-15T14:25:00.000+10:00

Well its been a wet, windy and cold week here, I know people think Australia is always hot but that is really only in the north.

On Friday we had some of the worst storms that I have ever seen. It was quite terrifying, it was only thanks to a friend at work that I managed to get home last Friday. For the first time in months G has driven me to work cos he needed the car, so I was unable to just leave when the weather started to worsen. But my mate at work told me to tell G to stay at home and he would drive me back in his 4 wheel drive.

Thank god he did!

Firstly we discovered the road from work to the main road was flooded with 2 cars stuck, so we turned around and did a detour, then another road between work and Abi's day care was totally washed out, once again 2 stranded cars floating in the water. Another detour began. What should have been a 10 minutes journey took 45 minutes!

Once we had Abi we had to get back to my house, the rain was torrential, I seriously found it a very nerve racking journey and I had never been so glad to get home!

That night the wind was deafening and at one point I thought the windows where about to cave in. That was frightening!

The next morning my father in law appeared at our front door, his mobile, home phone and power were all out. He phoned energy Australia and we discovered 200,000 homes where without power - how ours stayed on is a mystery. As the morning unfolded we saw on the news the destruction of the winds, we only lost a tree and couple of uprooted bushes, but some people had there whole house destroyed. Flooding was becoming a real problem. Our garage at one point had 7inchs of water in it. The hunter river rose by 10 meters. Some towns where totally cut off.

Even a week later, there are trees everywhere and the destruction leaves me speechless. My eldest didn't go to school till Wednesday due to damage to her school. There are still 12,000 homes without power, these are mainly in the 'cut off' towns and until the floods subside they will remain so.

Today we had another weather warning, and although its suppose to be a lot less severe than last week I think the problem is that the ground is already so wet that more flooding is a real worry.

Anyway I am leaving work early, not taking any chances this time!

2007-05-21T14:41:00.001+10:00

news

2007-05-21T14:25:00.000+10:00

SO I reappeared only to disappear!

Well my dad has been pretty ill so I was kinda distracted, but hes on the mend now (thank goodness)

Move went well, kids all settled I will get some pics and put them up, mind you there is an old wifes saying new move - new baby....

yea well guess what

30 degrees and rising

2007-03-20T17:44:00.000+11:00

Ironically the temperature has shot up the last few days, just when I could have done with it being cool, we have been packing ever since we found out we where moving, but at the mo we have to pack a bit and then sit in front of the fan to try and cool down.

You know how your fingers wrinkle in the bath, well mine are a bit like that now from all the sweat.

The kids bedroom is almost done, all thats left is the last few bits. Kitchen is about 1/3 down but a lot of that wont get done till Friday night, the lounge is almost finished, the bathroom and laundry should only take about 30mins in total but our bedroom is hardly touched. Its also the hottest room in the house during the day so I am avoiding it really.

I checked the weather forcast and its suppose to be 33 on Saturday, I am really not looking forward to that, luckily we have a two week window in which to move so if its not all done on Sat its no big deal.

I have redirected the mail, spoke to the electric board so its just the phone I will do that tomorrow. I sign the lease on Friday. I cant wait!

It goes up it goes down..

2007-03-17T10:13:00.000+11:00

Life that is, its amazing really how good you can feel and how shitty you can feel the next day.

I got a phone call from my bro earlier, my dad is in hospital, and its serious.

An artery burst in his stomach, hes in intensive care, my dad has multiple health problems anyway and those might complicate this.

I am so worried about him, and when hes half a world away I cant even visit him. My step mum is finding out if I can phone him at the hospital, hes all tubed up at the mo though so it might be a couple of days before I can.

And now back to crying and packing up the house.

I dont belive it

2007-03-16T11:17:00.000+11:00

We got a house!!!

Yippee

We went to view a property on Wednesday and Thursday I was told we had got it. Its already empty so we can move in immediately. However I think we will start the lease next Saturday, we have to give 3 weeks notice for where we are - bit rich considering he wants us out I reckon.

Oh I am sooo happy (for a change)

3 decent bedrooms, and we can see the ocean from the lounge; ok so you have to peer over rooftops, but you CAN see it. Nice back yard for barbies too.

So now I am in hyper mode, I wanna move nowwwwwwwwwwww - need to pack..

need to redirect mail

need to clean

oh boy will my brain stop running in circles!

It must be pouring down

2007-03-14T17:47:00.000+11:00

So I have recovered from the shock of my car, we have G's back on the road and I decided that at tax time I would see about getting another, I figure with the rebate I should get I might have a small amount to put down on a second hand one.

Anyways...

Today we got a letter (sounds a bit like blues clues) from the real estate agent that we rent the property from, the owner is kicking us out cos he wants to move it. We have 60 days.

ho hum

so I went to look at 2 houses today,

fingers crossed

the rental market is still terrible here, I so hope we find something

and soon!

They found the car

2007-02-27T22:57:00.000+11:00

Its a wreck.....

My Mother always told me...

2007-02-26T11:50:00.000+11:00

If you can't say something nice about a person don't say anything at all.

So..
I wont say anything about someone I know

But what I will say is

I don't like people who bitch about other people behind their backs
I don't like people who without knowing the full situation stick their nose in and slag someone off
I don't like people who don't thank people when they have been helped by a person
I don't like people who think that the world owes them when it doesn't

I do believe that being polite and kind to people is a good thing
I do believe that even when your stuck in what seems to be an appalling situation there is always hope around the corner
and I do believe that no matter how shitty you think your situation is - there is always someone worse off than you are
I do believe that people who bitch are just cowards

and the only reason I am not having a go at someone for something they have done and are doing is because I have been asked not too cos all she will do is take it out on my SIL

I guess my sister in law is a lot more compassionate than I can be.

An open letter to the bastards who stole my car...

2007-02-22T13:45:00.000+11:00

So think your big and clever cos you can steal cars eh?

Well thanks to you, you have REALLY screwed my week up, I mean how low of you to steal a car with a baby seat in it for a start. I only went into town to get my middle daughter a birthday pressie so you managed to nick it bloody quick. and thanks to you her birthday got really screwed up. So you now need to apologise to a 9 year old for fucking her birthday treat up, I mean how do I take her out like I promised without a car!

This apart from the fact I had to pratt about trying to find my car, going to the police, trying to get home and feed my youngest daughter. And not be able to get to work! And if I cant get to work how the fuck do I earn money to enable me to get another car!

Trust me Its a lot of inconvenience and when your already feeling ill - its not what you need.

Also you need to apologise to my youngest daughter, lets face it even if I did get a car in the mean time, without a babyseat its impossible for her to go anywhere, so cos of your selfishness she had to miss the show she was gonna go to.

Also you need to apologise to my eldest daughter, because of you she had to walk home in the heat from school and get sunstroke.

So your little 'misdeamour' caused my family quite a lot of problems, including me having to try and find a new car, I didn't have theft insurance, silly I know but as I was saving every penny due to my husband being unemployed and we need to move house. I mean you try living in a tiny 2 bed unit with 3 kids, 2 of my daughters are sharing a room 9ft by 9 ft.

SO the houses I was gonna look at later that day I had to cancel, the first viewings I had managed to get for weeks, co I had FINALLY managed to get enough cash together for a bond for a new rental. Plus do you know how hard it is to even find a rental property up for grabs these days? Even a viewing is a sliver of hope, but no you fuckers took even that sliver of hope from me and my daughters.

So yea you kinda of REALLY screwed a lot up for me, If I ever met you in RL you had better run fast cos if I get my hands on you - well lets face it, you wont be fathering any more children and I will have a rather strange item to hang in my next car.

I suppose you think your BIG and BRAVE for doing this, well screw you, I am probably taller than you, and I am a lot more braver than you. I would like to see you go through what I have been through in life. You try giving birth to 3 children 2 of which had complications, I would like to see you go through that pain, and trust me, I can help you achieve that! I would be more than glad to see you suffer.

And its not just the car, and its not just the baby seat in the car, and the 2 folding chairs in the back, and my daughters shoes.

BUT

in that car was a CD
A CD that I had when Rob was killed, it was the CD that I cried to, no not cried to, I sobbed my heart out too when he was drowned. Have you ever lost someone you love so deeply that the pain never goes away? Well I have, and that CD is the one I listen to when I need him. Even after 5 years that CD makes me sob, and everytime I think of the fact that you stole that from me, well that hurts, that CD was a link to him.

You are just a bunch of fuckers who deserver to get herpes!

And for anyone who thinks they might like stealing cars as a cheap option to earn money, just come and see me - I will soon change your mind

Long time no hear

2006-12-20T21:42:00.000+11:00

Yea I know long time since I got up off my arse and posted. Even today the only reason I am doing it is to shamesly 'advertise' a website. Over the last couple of months I have been following Dave Cornthwaite's journey across Australia, He has been Skateboarding across the country and raising money for 3 charities.

Today when I was walking along the road, I was rather surprised to see a vehicle with Boardfree all over it, I did know that Dave would be in the area either today or tomorrow, but I wasnt expecting to literally see the crew as I was walking down the road on my way to drop some Christmas cards off. They stopped and had a bit of a chat and I gave them my phone no so they could call round later (eldest daughter wanted a t-shirt). Dave and Dan called round and had a drink while sorting out their internet access. Have to say really great guys! Charl was very shy as always, but we went back to where they where staying to purchase a couple of t-shirt and make a donation. Charl got to touch his skateboard and was so impressed. She was so nervous, and got me to ask him for his autograph.

The rest of the crew are great people too, I totally recommend a look at the site, and DONATE!

:) Have a great Christmas all
xxxxxxxx
Els

2006-06-30T13:51:00.000+10:00

This last year has been the most exhausting one ever, Abi still wakes up at night more often than not. I am still working, 3 days a week in the office, 2 days a week at home. G quite his job and is being self employed (?) again.... I have been quite depressed.

I am now addicted to Oblivion.

Someone help me please!

whats happened ..............

2006-04-12T12:14:00.000+10:00

In no particular order

My X MIL passed away,this has really saddened me, she was very ill and it was only a matter of time really, but as those around her knew, her life should have been different than it was towards the end.

My X is in prision for beating up his mother, yep you read that right, I mean what sort of sick person beats his mum up when shes so ill. He gets sentenced later today, I hope he gets a decent sentence for what he did. He claims not to be violent, but he is and extrememly abusive, I mean what sort of person hits a pregnant women. He tried to deny he did it, but his mum witnessed it.

On a happier note...

Daughter no3 is crawling, no teeth yet (so how does she bite me when shes feeding??) although her crawling is only to the nearest thing she can pull herself up on. She discovered the bin last week so now we have a stair gate blocking the kitchen.

Shes cute, tilts her head and plays peek a boo.

Daughter no2 is just getting over a belly ache, I think she ate too much when she went to the sleep over at the weekend, it was her first one, personally I thought she would come home and be too scared, but she surprised me.

Daughter no1 got a 100% in her english, I am so PROUD of her, it was a poetry assignment, seeing as I (used) to write poetry and so did her paternal grandma shes from good poetry writing stock :) and I like to think my X MIL would have been proud of that.

G has quit his job and started up on his own, its slow but at least he finally sold summat and brought some money in (I was thinking i was gonna have to work more hours to pay the rent)

My SIL is doing well in her pregnancy, I am so looking forward to a new baby around, although I don't evny her, 3 kids is a handful.

And as for me, well I am truly addicted to Neopets, I have even become an avatar collector on there and have now chosen my battle pet (Ysimuma)
mind you there is still a lot of work to be done on her.

If ya wanna join neopets please use this link then I get 100np for a referal (Yippie)

Minimum of ten children

2006-02-25T22:41:00.000+11:00

So she invited about 12, she said 10 where coming and 6 turned up! Not a good percentage and as you have to pay for a minimum of 10 kids there was plenty of food left over. What am I talking about? Middle daughters party at Megamania, have to be honest it was great, especially the bit where I didnt have to prepare or clean up stuff. THAT bit I loved, even Abi enjoyed herself in the toddler section, I was amazed that she stayed awake the whole afternoon, mind you 15seconds in the car she was asleep, Ys loved it, ate too many sweets and had a belly ache on the way home, but hey thats kids parties for ya, eldest daughter was a bit miffed cos the cut off age for kids playing is 11 so shes too old but she helped out and I think she enjoyed it too.

And Abi had her first bit of birthday cake, how cute!

thingss

2006-02-18T07:31:00.000+11:00

I need more time in the day

Working is exhausting

Kids are great

My eldest daughter is growing up so fast its scary and shes now a teen

my middle daughter is also growing up fast and is having a birthday next week

I got food poisioning for valentines day

I need to update more.

Happy New Year

2006-01-01T15:36:00.000+11:00

New Year was seen in by all five of us awake, I think all the fireworks woke Abi up, we watched the local ones from the bedroom balcony, once again it was a superb show, I love New Years Eve, I really appreciate it being warm and being able to party outside. Today is reasonably quite, late night revellers sleeping off their hangovers but only if they can stand the heat.

We are experiencing the hottest weather this summer for years apparently, earlier I went over to the garage and walking accross the park that seperates our house and it, I could smell hay, but no hay had been cut it was the smell of the grass turning into hay where it grew. The only green areas are in the gardens of people who water their lawns. I did consider buying the girls an icecream but thought It would be melted by the time I get back. Our lounge is like a little sanctury at the moment, we have both an air conditioner (very old and 3rd hand) and a water cooler/evaporator going the thermomator on the fridge says its 34 in here and this feels cool to upstairs and outside. I went outside to put the duvets out to air, the soles of my feet burnt.

I spoke to my mum this morning, she says its so cold over there that one day didnt get above minus 7. Such extremes of weather when its this hot its hard to imagine it being so cold. In some ways thought I miss the beauty of a frost on a winters morning especially when its like this.

I hope you all had a good Christmas, my highlights where.....

The 'pressy' I got from Abi that the nursery made (a star with her picci and handprint on.

Speaking to my best mate on Christmas Eve and talking to her son whose birthday it was, and him telling my he loved me.

The pressy that the girls bought me with their own pocket money

Seeing my brother on webcam, he called at my dads when he was chatting on cam to me, I havnt seen my brother for neary 4 years, it was sooo good to see him.

My sis-in-law announcing she was pregnant again, that one was a shock!

It was a really relaxing day on Christmas day, I really enjoyed it.

Every New Years Day I think back over the year and work out my Highlight and Lowlights, last years was easy...

the best bit was giving birth to Abi, she is a demanding child but worth it.

the worst was my boss and his wife getting killed in the Bali bomb. Think that says it all.

Hope you all have a great 2006!

xx

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-25T05:11:00.000+11:00

xmas..
Its 5am and I'm up... the sun is just starting to lighten the sky, but mainly its dark, the only sound I can hear is the fans on the pc's and Abi.

I'm abviously not up to the elder two excited because of Santa.... nope Im up and have been for the last two hours cos of Abi, shes full of cold and can't breath. This is the 3rd night in a row I have been up, but the other two where because I couldnt breathe and it was HOT. How hot? well it was 43 yesterday, yes bloody hot! Charlotte got heatstroke for xmas, gosh what a sick household.

But we are well off compared to some.

A Christmas picci
xx
Have a good one everyone.

Weekend Blogger

2005-12-18T07:29:00.000+11:00

Maybe I am a weekend blogger... its the only time I get a chance to sit down. First off all thanks everyone for my Birthday wishes, it was appreciated, and my VPN is working (woooo hooooo) it was a simple thing that was stopping it - but then isnt it always.

Christmas is nearly in the bag. Still got a couple of things to get besides food, but not discussing that on here, eyes can see...

Last night we had the 'Carols by Candlelight' in our suburb it wasnt bad, first time they had done it. I took the elder too across as Abs was asleep and G said he would stay with her, unfortunatly for him she woke up 5 mins after we left, isnt that typical and he had to deal with her for 40mins screaming before he called me to come home. As luck would have it we only live a 5min walk from the RSL where it was held, but I discovered that there is a down side to liveing so close when 9pm came.

They had fireworks ........... big noisy fireworks.

So answer me this how come a sneeze can wake up Abi BUT 15mins of LOUD fireworks dosnt.

*shakes head* Will I ever understand children

And thanks to the person who signed up on Neopets (see blue pet on right side bar) I get 100point for a referral, for anyone who does sign up neomail me on elspeth_e.

Happy Holidays everyone!

and where the hell have I been...

2005-12-10T07:44:00.000+11:00

The last month has flown by, first was the fact I hit 40. Yep the BIG 40. We didnt do anything for it at my insistance although being taken out for a meal would have been nice, the outlaws did a bbq for me but in reality what I wanted to do was go clubbing with my mates in the UK and get totally ratted.. but I couldnt afford the plane fare plus as I am still breastfeeding Abi its not an easy thing to do.

Work is going great, although leaving Abi at daycare was difficult and after 2 weeks isnt much easier but I try not to think about it. She seems to like it there and when I drop her off shes smiling at the carers so she obviously likes them there is just one problem... she wont take a bottle. She is sooooo stubborn they are in the habit of squeezing the teat to get milk into her mouth to get her to take it, even so she fights it and only has about 40ml at a feed and has 2 feeds there so when I pick her up about 6-7 hours later shes only had about 80-90mls of fluid. Shes eating her solids there so at least shes getting something.

Work bought me a laptop so I can work from home in theory I should VPN in from home but... yes there is usually a but isnt there. For some reason its not working properly. I can connect with the VPN client via our broadband but cant access the network at all, not my emails or files on the server. It just cant see the server. But if I 'dial in' to the server for my email (using a different system) I can collect mails. Also this is the odd bit, someone else tried on there dial up internet and the VPN worked fine. So any ideas? I'm desperate the guys we outsourse our IT too have been totally confused by it too.

I am suppose to only do 2 days in the office, those are the days I have childcare but I have been in everyday this week - not all day on the days I am not there but enough to make it difficult to get other stuff done. When I go in with Abi its kinda distracting too. Abi also had her 6mths check up - yep 6mths (how fast thats gone) shes doing great but not put as much weight on as expected which isn't surprising as shes refusing to bottle feed.

Due to the fact Im so buzy the house looks like a bomb site! I spent what little time I had yesterday doing housework, I actually managed the hovering, hmmm I wonder how much a cleaner would cost, I am seriously considering it if I dont get more time at home. Also Christmas... I really need to do some organising. Food Lists, pressies etc, one thing I gotta sort out is what Vegetarian dish to do for my eldest 'Midnight Dragon' I used to buy nut roasts from Marks and Sparks in the UK but we dont have them here :(

I actually posted my UK cards yesterday just got to get the last 2 pressies off but I need time to finish them off, hope to do it today.

And finally......

we have had some odd weather! Major storms - we where having 2 a day last week every day, one was really scary I was driving home in it and it started hailing, now its not just that little hail like we get in England - here they are bloody big things and have been known to break windscreens. So I like loads of other people pulled over and waited for it to subside. I climbed into the back seat with Abi praying that my windscreen would hole - it was so noisy and scary! After about 30 mins it eased off and I managed to get Ysi from 'after school club' and get home, I did have a look the next day and there is some dents in the car room, I am just glad it wasnt in me.

And them this week its been a heat wave, its been so bloody hot and reached about 40 on Wednesday, I spent the afternoon at the outlaws - they have decent air conditioning, the weather bureau says that its gonna be a long hot summer, I think we need to buy some aircoolers and fast!

Gosh I have missed you all, time to read some blogs!

Work!

2005-11-11T20:23:00.000+11:00

I go back to work on the 24th November.

To be honest I have put off thinking about it and hadn't bothered about childcare, I think subconciously I thought If I cant get any I cant go back to work. Unfortunatly/fortunatly for me a new place had opened and had vacancies.

I went to see it on Wednesday and was really impressed, its a great place and is basically purpose built so I paid a deposit and went into work to see about going back. I was hoping to perhaps go part-time, but figured I would have to see what they said.

I arrived and the General Manager saw me and said 'What a coincidence I was going to ring you...'

He said he wanted to speak to me about returning to work (how odd!)basically to cut a long story short they wanted me to return ASAP, I can work flexi hours (I have arranged to go into the office 2 days a week)I can work from home, and I am now the Executive Assistant, so I have had a promotion!! I was stunned, but what a great surprise eh?

Just click your heels and say "Theres no place like home'

2005-11-05T22:39:00.000+11:00

My dad is pc illiterate, well to be honest illiterate is an understatement. It took him a few weeks to learn how to switch it off, never mind using it for anything else. He has no idea what a program is, and went onto broadband cos he thought it would speed up his pc. Its not his fault though, he only used one for the first time a few months ago and due to various illnesses he finds it hard to retain information. However today he managed to not only activate his web cam but to do a video conference with me.

I am so proud of him but what is even better is that I saw him on cam, I nearly cryed. Its about 11 months since he last visited us and to be honest I dont think he will make that journey again, after all its a bloody long way from the UK, and I cant see us going there anytime in the near future. The other great thing about the cam is hes now seen Abi, I know photos are good but its not the same as seeing someone, I could tell how much he loved seeing the kids on cam, you could hear it in his voice. I was a bit apprehensive about doing a vid conference at first mainly because last time I used MSN for that it kept freezing and crashing my pc, but this latest version seemed to be quite stable.

I really must try and persuade my mum to get a pc now. I so miss her too and to see her on cam would be pretty darn good.

Also last night I chatted to my oldest friend, (shes the person I have known the longest not that shes the oldest person I know) we first met when we where 3years old, so thats ermm a couple or so years ago. We did a voice and vid chat too, in fact we chatted for ages, normally I am in bed by 10pm at the latest, but last night it was past 11pm, gosh I did feel like a rebel.... The good thing about her is even if we dont speak for months even years when we do, its like it was only 5mins ago since we last spoke, Thats a true friend I reckon.

I know a lot of my mates in the uk read this blog, to be honest its the reason I set it up, so that I could ramble on and they could find out what I was up to, I figured it was easier than emails. I just want to let you all know I miss you like hell at the mo, think I'm homesick.

Blog it

2005-11-03T07:17:00.000+11:00

So my daughter gets more time to blog than me, that so not fair! Mind you she got me into Neopets so I seem to spend most of my PC time there these days.

Abi is now growing fast, shes rolling over and very nosy, she hates lying there and prefers to sit up and watch and listen, I think the middle daughter is gonna be off school today, no scrap that she DEFINATELY will be off school today, poor love has a streaming cold and a belly ache, she does enjoy school so I know she not blagging it. The hard bit will be to make sure Abi dosnt catch it.

Argghhh to Christmas, I have done NOTHING, usually I am reasonably well on my way but this year I am so behind, I think internet shopping might be the way to go again.

I am half way through reading a book at the mo and its really good so its back to that somthing to do with Atlantis. But without going over to the book I cant remember the title, I got it from the library.

Damn just noticed the time, better get eldest ready for school.

New Blog

2005-10-27T07:03:00.000+10:00

If your bored take a look at my eldest daughters blog she was upset cos no one reads it :(

Funeral

2005-10-19T08:12:00.000+10:00

Last Friday was the funeral, unfortunatly I didnt go. I got up, I showered, I washed my hair, and was half way through making a cup of tea when it hit me. A migrane. Its the most severe and fastest migrane I have had for 20 years. I quickly got some pain killers and tried to carry on. I even set out to take the kids to school but didnt get very far... I threw up 5 times in the car. I turned round and came home, Charlotte walked to school. My neighbour took Ysi. I came back in and Graeme looked at me in horror (apparently I looked pretty bad) I dont even remember what I said to him. He had already arranged the day off for the funeral but instead spent the day looking after Daughter No3 bringing her up to me in bed for a feed. It took a few days to get over it, I was so upset at missing the funeral, I have spoken to people from work since they got me a copy of the funeral Liturgy too, I saw a bit of it on TV but its not the same. So I lit a candle and made my peace.

I feel funerals do bring a sense of 'closure' I still cant really talk about it to people without bringing tears to my eyes, mind you even now I cant talk about Rob without that happening and its been over 4 years. I always say 'you dont get over it, you learn to deal with it'. Now I have to learn to deal with this one.

Life

2005-10-11T10:22:00.000+10:00

The last week has been very surreal, I went into work on Tuesday to help out, I had to take Abi in as I was breastfeeding, she wasnt too bad but did play up a bit. We lit a couple of candles for Colin and his wife and put them either side of his hard hat and put a condolences book there. Even now a week later Its hard to believe.

As it was the school holidays we had arranged to go away for a few days, we postponed this till Wednesday, we went to the Blue Mountains, they are so beautiful driving through them I was reminded of Somerset, even more so when we went through the Apple growing area. On Thursday we visited the Jenolan Caves, I had never been before and didnt know what to expect perhaps if I had we wouldn't have got there. The last 5km is the scariest bit of road I have ever been on. And I have driven on some scary roads. Its a single land, very twisty with a very steep drop to the side, Ysi very nearly was sick but managed to hold on till we got there. Lucky there was another road to leave on. The gorge itself reminded me of Chedder Gorge in the UK, but smaller, beautiful place though. We went through the 'Orient cave' system unfortunately Abi wasnt so keen, she screamed and I ended up sitting down half way through the tour and breastfeeding her, missing half of it. Oh well as least breastfeeding is convenient. We stayed at Fairmont resort at Leura, really excellent, I want to go back there next year, the thing I loved most about Leura was all the Cherry Blossom reminded me of my childhood.

On the way back we called in at a friends house in Sydney and where treated to a great BBQ, they did offer to put us up for the night but I really wanted to get home, I was exhausted and didn't fancy a 2 hour drive the next day. So at 10pm we set off, the journey wasn't too bad we landed at home about 12.15am, the kids had all fallen asleep by that point, I am surprised I hadn't too.

Friday we got the confirmation of Colin and his wife's death, it kinda hit me hard then. Still not sure when the funeral will be, but I am sure it will be a big one as so many people know them.

I also heard on the news of 30,000 people dying in Pakistan sometimes I really dont understand life.

Bali Bombings

2005-10-03T18:17:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I received a phone call I really wasn't expecting to get. My boss and his wife were killed in the Latest Bali Bombings.

My thoughts are with their sons.

Personally I am still in shock, I refused to blieve it at first, but now its starting to sink in.

Sunny Days

2005-10-01T10:39:00.000+10:00

Well the weather has picked up for the second week of the school hols and the best bit is G has taken this coming week off work. I am so pleased I dont remember the last time we all got to spend time together. We are hoping to go away for a couple of days next week, I am kinda in two minds about it, I really need a break and yet I wonder how much of a break it will be with a baby in tow, saying that we went away when Ysi was just 2 months old but she was the best behaved baby I have had!

The older two seemed to think that I had arranged to take them the pool today, goodness knows where they got that idea from, they have asked several times and I keep telling them no because I wasnt prepared to sit there with Abi squirming for the duration, its NOT my idea of fun. Plus we are hoping to go out and find a bigger bed later on today, as Abi spends half the night in bed with us it makes sense, plus with two people who are 6ft a standard double just isn't big enough.

Oh and Rachel I found your email :) and Hi to Charlee who left a message on my guest book :)

Poor Ysi

2005-09-29T07:48:00.000+10:00

I think Ysi might not be enjoying her Spring holidays so far she has...

Fallen downstairs
Cut her little toe and got blood everywhere
Got nits
and last night she wet the bed, and its not even the end of week one...

A day in the sun

2005-09-23T08:10:00.000+10:00

I cant belive its so long since I did a post, I have been so buzy I am just glad I am not working too! Birthdays, Anniversaries and loads of other things have taken up my time, apart from looking after 3 children! Abi's sleeping has gone right back too, now she goes down at about 8pm but is up about midnight, then between 2-3 hours she wakes up for a feed until about 7am, although I have had her wanting to play at 4am - that wasnt fun. Even though I am getting very broken sleep I feel good and have had loads of people tell me how well I look. I so love compliments!

We still havn't moved, I am inclined to think we might be still here at Christmas! I dont remember the last time I looked at ther peoples blogs - I do apologise to you all - I will get there eventually...

Spring/Summer is coming to our part of the world now and the weather has been so good just recently, the girls are on school holiday for the next two weeks so I am expecting rain (as so are the weather bureau)

Ysi was in the local paper this week, her school had a literacy day last week and they all dressed up as book caracters, she chose Sleeping Beauty mainly because we already had that costume, dosnt she look great!

Abi is also growing fast and although the right weight for her age is 2cm taller than she should be so I am now cutting the feet out off all her baby grows (saves me buying more) I also bought her a 'grobag sleeping bag' as she always kicks and moves from under her blankets, I thought it might keep her warmer, and maybe help her to sleep, so far the sleep is unchanged. Yesterday she did have her second lot of innoculations so I was expecing a disturbed night, and Abi was happy to oblige.

Abi in her sleeping bag...

Oh and Steve sorry I keep missing your Skype calls, it will be easier when the clocks change, then we are 11hrs ahead instead of 9hrs, makes chatting easier! To the rest of you - Skype me!

Silence is Golden

2005-08-19T13:12:00.000+10:00

Silence to me is a sleeping baby.

As I sit here Abs is asleep, the room seems so quite. No crying, no children playing, no TV on, the other PC is off - no games are interupting my silence.. and yet the room is filled with noise.

As I sit here I can here the wind, and in its turn this makes the bamboo windchimes on the back porch gently speak to me. I can hear the rustle of leaves in the trees, the sound of birds, the distance sound of cars on the Pacific Highway that passes at the end of the row of houses we live in. If I sit and listen I can hear the gentle hum of my pc, a gate banging in the distance. Now and then Abs stirs in her sleep, she moved and her teddy fell on the floor his rattle sounding so loud in the quietness of this room. I love times like this, I feel so singular, no one needing me to do anything for them. This is such a rarity for me even before Abs was born. I feel that finally my life is slowing down a bit, no rushing to work, or to collect the girls from after school care. No rushing to get all the chores and washing done when I am at home.

I actually managed to read another book over the last few days, this is such an achievement for me. I have learnt the art of holding a book whilst feeding Abs, I love reading I totally lose myself in books. When reading I don't hear all the sounds going on around me. All I hear is the book. Time is going so fast, Abs is already 11 weeks old - where did all that time go!

I hear the sounds of a baby awakeing up, sweet sounds, time to go and play.

A new day

2005-08-16T08:16:00.000+10:00

We didnt get the house - bummer! Anyone want to buy us a house to rent? Cos sometimes I think that would be the only way to get one! Lucky I never stopped looking eh, mind you not one property has come available in the last 2 weeks and apparently there are still loads of people looking.

I managed to bribe the kids into partially cleaning the front yard this weekend, I say partially as their idea of tidy is different to mind, bloody small yard it is too. When I first asked the kids to clean it they asked what front yard! Nothing seems to grow there except weeds, mainly cos it dosn't get any sun being South facing. Although I do have a pot with wild garlic growing in it. I love Wild Garlic reminds me of a time in my life which I loved and everytime I come home and see it, I think of a special place back in the UK that no longer exists (long story!)

Well time to take Abi the clinic - I wonder how much weight she put on this month at the rate shes going she will be as tall as the rest of the family.

Its not so easy being a mum

2005-08-09T08:16:00.000+10:00

Well Im not that hopefull that we will get that house apparently there are loads of applications in on it. So its the same old story - too many people, not enough properties. If only I could win the lottery and buy us a place. We dont want much just an extra bedroom. Then Charl can have her own room and Ysi will share with Abi, she is happy to do that. So we have given up on the 4 bed house, too much cleaning anyway I tell myself.

Its been an odd week, Charl and Ysi have both been ill, but with different things, Abi seems to be on a 'lets keep mum awake spree' but I cant even drink loads of coffee in the day to keep me awake because it will do the same with her. The problems of breastfeeding eh? I still cant eat onions! Mind you on the plus side I am now down to my pre pregnancy weight - I think I am anyway, I fit into my 'normal' clothes now, so yesterday I packed away all my maternity gear.

I am now starting to learn the art of going on the pc while winding Abi, its not easy and I dont get that much time still but its a start - maybe soon I will get round to reading all thous blogs.

Also for those of you who have looked at my website, my daughter has updated her section. I am really proud of what she has done, its not finished yet but bearing in mind she wrote it all in code I think its great. Just click on the 'about me' section on the right hand side and then 'kids page'.

She tells me she wants to be a web designer when she grows up could be interesting...

House Hunting again

2005-08-03T07:01:00.000+10:00

I got up at 6am today, one good thing about getting up so early is I am getting some cleaning done prior to getting the other 2 kids up for school. I am on a bit of a spring clean at the moment - even though Spring isnt here yet. Mind you so far its been a very mild Winter, its as warm as it is in the UK, upto 21 degrees in the day but its chilly at night down to as low as 3-4 degrees. One of the reasons for the Spring clean is to get rid off all the crap we dont need. I have started looking at houses again and figure no point in dragging a load of crap we dont need. I looked at 2 yesterday, the first one is ok big enough for us even though its only 3 bedrooms I will put in an application today for it. The bedrooms are a decent size and Ysi wants to share with Abi, I guess she has had enough of Charl's mess, I never knew a girl could be so untidy! Plus Charl wants her own room, well at her age its expected but Ysi is a bit nervous of sleeping on her own, so I figure its the perfect solution. The second house I looked at although its lovely was a bit on the small side considering we have 2 computers to accomodate and need 2 decent sized bedrooms, oh and the first one had a pool. Not that I am particulary bothered about having a pool but it could be good in the summer.

The bit I am dreading is packing, any offers of help?

Early Morning

Catching up

2005-07-28T10:08:00.000+10:00

I cant remember how long it is since I read other peoples blogs, even finding time to update this one is getting scarse. But I made a real effort today, even though I had to do it while either breastfeeding or burping her, please note typing one handed is not my best thing - two hands yes - one ermmm not really.

I also need to sort out my blogrolling ....so out of date.

Well life is going well, Abi sleeps about 7 hours a night now so I feel more human, Ysi is off school due to a sprained ankle and she cant walk, which means my best helper is now being waited on. Such is life!

Oh she just fell asleep..

School Holidays

2005-07-18T12:30:00.000+10:00

The last couple of weeks have been hectic, the older two where off school and it was great to spend time with them, its the first time in ages I have been with them the whole school holidays. We didnt do anything really exciting, went shopping one day and Abby had a few appointments plus my 6 week post natal check up. Also we had lunch out a few times, I really enjoyed spending time with them although its not the easiest when you have a tiny baby too, the amount of stuff you take with you is crazy! I am enjoying the time off though, I dont really want to go back.

Charlotte has also gone back to being a vegetarian, G wasnt pleased he thinks you need meat to survive, it took a lot of convincing from me that it is possible to eat well without meat. There are not as many Veggies over here though as in the UK, but I have found a few items ready made, chickpea burgers and the like (they are sooo yummy)but there isnt the amount of ready made stuff as in England. No quorn or Linda Macartney meals over here! I do miss them they where soo yummy.

Oh my veggie sausages rolls are ready better go and eat.

Proud sisters

2005-07-08T12:30:00.001+10:00

The girls say its hard to remember what life was like before Abs was born - just shows how quick she fitted into o ur life. Ysi is still a bit nervous when she holds her, I think she thinks she will break her - not that you could tell that by this pic.

2005-07-08T12:30:00.000+10:00

5 weeks old

Same Old

2005-06-27T15:38:00.000+10:00

My life seems to revolve around trying to get some sleep, feeding Abby and changing nappies, the first few weeks are always the worst. She is getting better though and sleeping a bit more at night. I will be glad when I get some time to have a bath, at the mo its a quick shower while she screams from her cot. Typical.

2005-06-15T12:52:00.000+10:00

Another cute pic

2005-06-15T12:51:00.000+10:00

Dont she look cute!

Day 14

2005-06-15T12:38:00.000+10:00

Darn and blast it. I got mastitus (sp) hadnt been feeling to well for a few days and I went the docs yesterday and he confirmed what I thought. First time in 3 kids I have ever got it. I suspect its cos I was feeding more on one side than the other due to extremely cracked nipples. Now I have to feed her on that side and oh boy does it hurt. Last night I got a really good nights sleep though, no hot and cold sweats and Abby slept really well4 hours, 30 mins feed and another 3 hours - best she has done yet. Today she has been a lot happier too, looking around at the world and not screaming every 5 mins. Its the crying thats the worst. Its been a very full on 2 weeks, but we all adore her, she totally rules the household. She has had a couple of trips out in the last week, one was to the Physio dept at the John Hunter hospital, she was referred after her baby check as she has 'clicky' hips, the physio thinks shes ok, but we have to back when she is 6 weeks. I have a list of appointments for her, I need to write them all down on the calender before I forget. Yep my memory is still crap. Opps shes waking up.............

2005-06-07T13:07:00.000+10:00

Me in my sexy PJ's with Abigail

2005-06-07T12:49:00.000+10:00

Last night was better, I did actually get 6.5hours sleep, ok not all at once but its a start.

Yesterday we had some bad news, G's best friend and business partners brother committed suicide. P is devestated and G is extremly upset too, there seems to be a lot of deaths at the moment and births too actually. Its the 3rd death I have heard off this week.

I was going to go to Centerlink today to put in my claim for the maternity payment, you get 3000 here when you give birth, its for buying things for the baby, as you dont get maternity pay its very welcomed by me. I am finding it very odd not having a salary again, I guess I will get used to it. I wonder how long it will be before I am climbing the walls wanting to get back to work.

Things that make you cry

2005-06-06T08:23:00.000+10:00

It was a hellish night last night, I was up from 1am to 6am, I assume that she was fractious from my milk coming in, the midwife said it might happen, I dont remember it doing so with the other two but all babies are different. My nipples are so sore my SIL calls it razorblades, I know what she means. So I was in tears last night, so tired, so frustrated.

She fell asleep around 6am with me on the sofa, I woke up 2 hours later and just after that there was a knock at the door. It was a parcel from Babies Galore. I wasnt expecting anything so I was a bit surprised. Even more so when I opened it. I was so touched I burst into tears again (ohh those hormones!)

Rachel I dont have your email address anymore so I will thank you here! It was such a surprise even more so when I saw you comment on my blog (only you know the back to front nappy and skimmed milk!) How did you find my blog? Did I give the addy to Lin, I really cant remember. Mind you its great to hear from you!

Just for the rest of you Rachel used to be my boss about 5(ish) years ago, best one I ever had!

Thanks Rachel!

Pic

2005-06-05T19:18:00.000+10:00

Only took god knows how many attempts and 2 days to post the pic, as our net is so slow at the mo it keeps timing out. Plus I have very little time at the mo, she has been constantly feeding but I am hoping now that my milk has come in it might get a bit easier. Lack of sleep is the worst but I knew it would be. 2 nights before she was born I keep being woke up with contractions so it wasnt decent sleep, then the night she was born I didnt sleep and the other 2 nights have been very little, so as you can imagine I am very exhausted. G is basically looking after everything for me. He is so the proud father and he did brilliantly with me when I was in labour, have to be honest I was a bit concerned in case he freaked out. I think the only time he did was when I screamed 'Get the midwife' when I realised I had to push, by the time the midwife arrived she was half out, so in the end it was a very quick birth. We where only at the hospital for 4 hours and as I was in slow labour for 2 days I wasnt expecting that. At midnight I was 5cm, just over an hour later she was born, I wasnt expecting that.

The midwifes where excellent and the best bit was the one who helped/caught her as she shot out was the one I had seen for my last 2 antenatal apps, she also happened to move from labour room to ward while I was there and did a home visit to see me today. I feel it was really good having the same one for so much, makes it more personal. Also with it being a small hospital it was a much more personal/friendly labour. One thing I wasnt looking forward to was being monitored all the way though and having docs poking me (which is was happened last time cos it was a VBAC) this time it was treated as a normal birth. And oh my god it was. I am so happy I cant tell you. I feel like I have broken the cycle of traumatic births.

E
x

2005-06-05T19:13:00.000+10:00

Abi

Sorry for lack of posting

2005-06-03T14:23:00.000+10:00

Its happened, I did try and arrange a posting while I was away but as Its not happened I guess my mate had probs loggin in etc...

Will tell more later, Abigail Rose June arrived on 2 June at 1.14am, it was an easy labour (compared to the last 2 it was amazing) She is 7lb6oz, 52in long. I think I am still in shock. We are back at home now, unfortunatly G's aunt passed away the night before, so its been an odd couple of days. Steph well done you where closest!

Thanks for everyones support.
xx

Due day..

2005-05-30T12:45:00.000+10:00

What a surprise I made it to my due date, I joke that I will still be here next week to the family, sad thing is I just may be. I have a habit of having babies late. My next ante-natal is Wednesday gives me something to look forward to (?) My bags are finally packed (honest, well I just need to put the music in, but thats kinda ready, I just keep adding to it. The house is almost spotless - dont ya just love that cleaning frenzy, although as I sit here I have noticed dust on a chair.....

I daren't have a bath now, I might get stuck, but showers are good, and warm. I still hate mornings, esp cold ones. One of the best things is getting used to spending time on my own in the day and I am enjoying it too. Its years since I spent so much time on my own, just listening to music, reading or doing whatever I feel like. I just keep thinking 'make the most of it'. 3pm when school finishes seems to come round just too fast.

So any bets on when it will be?

Ribena

2005-05-28T12:31:00.000+10:00

Lovely sunny day today, and all I want to do is clean, mind you I do have to rest every 10 mins, then its time to sit outside with a glass of Ribena. I seem to have a ribena craving at the mo, but what I am really missing is Vimto.

Beach ball

2005-05-26T11:08:00.000+10:00

My belly looks like its swallowed a beach ball

39 week Antenatal App

2005-05-25T11:09:00.000+10:00

So it was my 39 week antenatal appointment today, and today there is some progress....

1 The head has finally engaged

2 My blood pressure is up slightly 136/82 when I am normally around 120/70 max, this isnt high but its a sign for me

3 I have a slight temperature

4 My Haemoglobin is down, but the midwife reckons its a bit late to think about iron tablets now (thank god!)

Ok so I might still go another 2 weeks but I have been having slight contractions for a few days, BUT I had that for 2 weeks prior to labour with Ysi. So yes it might not happen anyday soom, but I have hope.

I have now decided that today my task should be to get my labour bag ready, the main thing is to get my MP3's onto CD for the labour room.

But the question is which ones.....

Still Here

2005-05-24T11:39:00.000+10:00

I am still here.

I know I havnt updated like I said I would - damn good reason though. Our internet is so slow I think its running on water power and we are in a drought declared state here! Seriously though I just get really pissed off with waiting for a page to load and end up going and doing something else instead! I have officially another 6 days till I am due, but hell the last one was 2 weeks late so I am not thinking about it yet. Instead I have taken is easy(ish) done some cleaning (nesting?) thrown out a tonne of stuff (will I reget that once hormones are normal?) visited a few friends (always good for the soul) and been furniture shopping (my fav). Yes folks after only 3 years of waiting I finally have a dining table (ohhhh joy!) Uptil Monday we usesd a patio table and consequently every time you tried to cut up your food the table shook and drink went everywhere, plus it dipped in the middle so if you had soup the back of the bowl was more full than the front. Its a really nice one (well I am happy) 6 place settings so when bubs is born we will all fit around it, and at a push we could fit a couple of extras. We had our first meal around it last night. It only just fits in our dining area so we need to make sure the next place has at least the same size dining area. Given up looking for houses at the mo, I figure its too stressful right now, give me a few weeks and I will probably be moaning again at the lack of houses about!

And finally congrats to Jessica who delived a beautiful baby girl last week. I hope her daughter brings her as much happiness as the ones I already have.

Home sweet home

2005-05-18T10:04:00.000+10:00

So I am finally on maternity leave, in some ways its gone so quick and I can hardly believe im on day 2 of leave. My last day at work was good, although I didnt get everything done that I wanted too, but thats life. They got me a really lovely pressie at work, a box full of baby stuff, shampoos, bibs, clothes and stuff, I was really pleased and a couple of things for me too, one being a nightie - so I now have something to wear in hospital. I am crap at goodbyes but I think I managed pretty well. They also got me a wonderful sponge cake with cream and strawberries - Ohhhh my how I have love strawberries this pregnancy! I really will miss the people there, some more than others obviously! But at least I didnt cry, I am proud of myself for that!

Yesterday was my first day of leave, I have a number of things I want to do before I have this baby - yea I know planning is never a good idea! But the housework has really suffered the last few months, I seriously dont remember the last time I dusted, no wonder I sneeze a lot at home. I am gonna take it easy-ish though, I have set myself goals each day. Yesterday was go shopping (always good) and to blitz the bedroom, oh and one load of washing. I did it all. Well almost, didnt sort out the wardrobe but I figure as most of its G's stuff he can do that - I swear he has at least 2-3 times more clothes than I have. Mind you when I moved to Australia, I did leave most of my stuff behind.

I am gonna try and update more now, I figure if I make myself sit down with a drink and write something it will force me to rest. Althought the heartburn puts me off eating and drinking much, I also need to catch up with other peoples blogs!! I have been so insular recently, kinda locked in my own head just trying to get through the day. I am pleased I managed to work up to 2 weeks prior to my due date (although Jessica actually managed to go to her due date!) But I will say I found it exhausting, G helped as much as he can but he works longer hours and in reality I couldnt always wait for him to get home before doing the kids tea. Plus I never had the energy for them. Now I feel so much better, I get an extra 30mins in bed the morning I can get the kids ready for school without panicing, and then once they are there I can come home and have brekkie. It feels like heaven! Shame the weather went downhill the day I finished work, although now I just typed that the sun has come out. But its cloudy so I dont think the washing will be put out today, plus the tumble dryer heats the house up a bit. I know people dont think it gets cold here but when its down to 14degrees and you dont have central heating and your a wimp like me you feel it!

Right time to go visit a friend and have a coffee, wow I do like this not working bit....

Ysis little trip...

2005-05-14T14:26:00.000+10:00

Only one more day at work, part of me can hardly believe I am about to go on maternity leave. I did do reduced hours last week for more than one reason. I did want to anyway, I have been basically suffering from exhaustion for the last month or that’s how it feels anyway! But I got a phone call on Monday that clinched it for me.

Ysi our dear 7yo had decided to play hooky from school. And noone realised! Basically her and a friend sneaked out of the before school club and didn’t go to school they figured it was more fun to play in the garden. And the girl who ‘signs them out ‘ didn’t even notice. Consequently the school didn’t think anything wrong as they just didn’t arrive and they thought they where at home.

At about 10.30 someone walked past the garden they hid in and saw them, reported them to the school and they went and got them. First thing I knew was when I got a call about 11.15 about it all. I freaked! Partly cos its so unlike Ysi and partly the safety factor. So I made arrangements to take and collect her from school – hence the reduced hours.

When I told my best mate back in the UK she laughed and said, only 7 and hiding in the bushes with a boy – must take after her mum.

Hmmm what do you say to that!

Meme

2005-05-10T10:29:00.000+10:00

Okkk I got tagged by Jenny... This is one of those memes and these are the instructions:

What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

If I could be a scientist...

If I could be a farmer...

If I could be a musician... I would sit at home and write amazing songs and sing to my children all day.

If I could be a doctor...

If I could be a painter... I would have a pink house

If I could be a gardener...

If I could be a missionary...

If I could be a chef... My kids would get better food!

If I could be an architect...

If I could be a linguist...

If I could be a psychologist... I would understand myself!

If I could be an athlete...

If I could be a lawyer...

If I could be an innkeeper...

If I could be a professor

If I could be a writer...

If I could be a backup dancer...

If I could be a llama-rider...

If I could be a bonnie pirate...

If I could be a midget stripper...

If I could be a proctologist...

If I could be a TV-Chat Show host...

If I could be an actor...

If I could be a judge...

If I could be a Jedi...

If I could be a mob boss...

If I could be a backup singer...

If I could be a CEO...

If I could be a movie reviewer...

If I could be a monkeys uncle... I would be male not female! :S

If I could be a CSI...

If I could be a computer nerd...

If I could be a Kindergarten teacher...

Hmmm boring ansas LOL if ya wanna tag it do it.

My week in general

2005-05-04T10:18:00.000+10:00

I never seem to have the time these days to blog, I can tell I am getting to the end of this pregnancy, I am so exhausted. I haven’t felt like this since Ysi was born. I take each day at a time and try not to think about it. I would quit work if I could but I have 2 more car payments to do, once they are done, that’s it – I am outta there. (roll on 16th May)

Its been a kinda buzy week, last Thursday I left work feeling really ill, at one point I really did think ‘this is it’ but they where just intense Branxton Hicks. I went to bed and they eased, stayed off work on Friday as I still felt really grotty. Saturday I took it easy as we were going a wedding on Sunday and I really wanted to go.

The wedding was lovely, it was outdoors and luckily the sun shone in the morning. It was a very simple ceremony. The brides mother and sister had flown over from Japan, I was pleased that they where there for her. My family where unable to come to mind. Kinda brought tears to my eyes remembering. The reception afterwards was at an Italian – my favorite food!!! And oh boy it was good food. I haven’t eaten so much for ages, I reckon I looked like I was expecting twins by the time I had finished! The best bit was the Tiramisu for dessert – my all time favorite. G couldn’t eat his….. I helped.

One nice touch was the couple do dancing lessons every week – have been for years and they did a ‘wedding waltz’ well ok it was the tango, but it was very good. I didn’t take my camera but G did, hopefully he got some good pics of them both. I haven’t seen them yet.

I had booked Monday off, I knew I would be exhausted, after all going to Sydney and back in a day is bad enough normally, but when your over 8mths pregnant and cant sit comfy in the car it’s a nightmare! Charlotte was also off school on Monday (pupil free day apparently?) so it was just her and me. Her on the PC me on the PS2, not really quality time together, but I was so exhausted I just wanted to veg out. I was seriously wondering how I was going to cope with work this week.

Tuesday wasn’t too bad, I managed to get out of the office for a bit to pick some stuff up for work, passed a couple of hours. I really don’t know how Jessica can cope with working right up to her due date. I am so exhausted most of the time now. Oh I did buy a new book yesterday ‘Corazon” by Joolz Denby, I started it last night, really enjoying it. I originally bought it for when I was in hospital but me being me – I couldn’t wait. I love her poetry but this is the first book I have bought by her. So far I like it.

And finally – thank you to Kat xx you know why :)

A little red wine goes a long way....

2005-04-26T13:57:00.000+10:00

in helping me sleep. For the last 4 nights I have had half a glass of wine before going to bed, now considering I havnt felt like a drink for months now I was surprised when i actually enjoyed it. PLUS I have slept better, oh joy not to wake up 10 times in the night cos someone was kicking your hip is a blessing. Although I am still waking up at 6am-ish, at least now I feel like I am getting a decent amount of sleep at night.

I have been going to bed later too, mainly cos I am soooo addicted to Dark Cloud, after the kids are in bed, on goes the PS2... if it was the kids playing it this much I would be moaning cos the TV was in use. I guess we really need a second TV, but at the moment god knows where we would put it. We have now decided to hold on moving till after bubs is born, after all you know what would happen if we tried to go now - I would probably go into labour. Or the threat of it would worry me so much I would crack up, I guess the later makes more sense!

I feel like this blog is turning totally into a 'baby blog' cant help it, I am now getting to the stage where I want it to be all over, but also part of me is terrified. My previous 2 labours where both so horrific, the thought of going through another one like that terrifies me. Charlotte was an emergency c-section and Ysi was Ventouse due to the cord strangleing her. This time I just want a normal-ish birth. I know its gonna hurt - I except that, I just dont want another baby literally ripped from me.

Graeme took a pic of me yesterday (he bought a new camera) I was horrified, is my bump really that big!! I told him to delete it, but part of me does want a pic so I can remember - after all this will probably be the last one.

I feel good at the moment, I can't wait for maternity leave so I can get everything ready properly. But the thing I really look forward to is spending more time with all 3 children. When I am not working I can do the chores like washing and cleaning in the week and spend the weekends having quality time with them.

THAT is the bit I really want.

Im pissed off

2005-04-20T14:23:00.000+10:00

I'm tired and ratty, I hardly slept last night, I had G poking me half the night cos i was snoring (apparently) and the other half I was awake with leg cramps. I had to come into work today as I had a tender to get out by 1pm. We did it - just. The only reason I stayed at work is that I am off tomorrow so I figure I can manage for a couple of hours.

I wonder if anyone will notice if I fall asleep at my desk...

6 weeks to go, 4 weeks at work

2005-04-18T10:14:00.000+10:00

I woke up this morning and my first thought (apart from needing the toilet) was I have 4 weeks left at work. At this end of it, it feels like a lifetime. I am trying to think of it in one week blocks. Might be easier to handle.

Last week was pretty unevenful, G was away with work in Queensland, so I took the week easy. Wednesday I was off work and was treated to brekkie in bed by the kids - now that was a surprise and a good one! We also had a walk by the water and I caught up with a few people I know on the walk. Talking of walking, my back is ooodles better, I think a combination of massage, taking it easy and lazying around actually worked. I can now walk without sticks (but for a distance I still use one), mind you I am not overdoing it - after all you never know.

I also started purchasing some baby equipment last week. I got a really lovely car seat in the sale and its got Pooh Bear on (how cute), some nappies, some baby bedding and my outlaws delivered the cot, we now have a small area with all the stuff. I have to be honest Tilly inspired me, after seeing all that she has organised I realised I really should make a start. This week I WILL go and get the stuff from my SIL, after all really should start packing my hospital bag.

The gaming is going well (its one way of resting!) I finished Chapter 3 last night beat the baddie and did some mega building up of weapons. Have to be honest if it wasnt for the online walkthoughs I dont think I would do half as well!

Only plan I have for this week is Thursday - Im not working wooooooooo hooooooooooo.

Have a good one :)

Working, Nesting and Gaming

2005-04-11T08:11:00.000+10:00

I have 5 weeks left at work (but whos counting!) I officially finish on 16 May, whichis a Monday. My last day is on a Monday for 2 reasons. Firstly I guess I must be supperstitious cos I didnt want to finish on Friday 13, I know it may seem silly but I am not prepared to risk it! Plus if I come in for one day that week at least I will have a bit of cash the following week in my bank, even one days pay is worth summat.

The nesting instinct must be starting to come out now, I spend most of Saturday cleaning (as well as I can) and sorting stuff out, mind you part of the reason for doing it on Saturday is that G left for Queensland early Sunday morning and isnt back till late Saturday so I am pretty limited to what I can do now. Saying that I err did kinda move some furniture around on Sunday. Now before you all tell me off, it was very light and I only moved it so we can fit the cot into the bedroom. I have come to the conclusion that we wont be moving prior to this bubs being born, and to be honest Im too tired and sick of it all to look now till afterwards. So now I am 'making do'. The cot will fit into our room now, I moved some furniture around and removed my bedside table (or rather my chest of drawers is doubling up as my bedside table. Still not sure where all the clothes will go though. Mind you I have zilch so far. My sis in law is suppose to be bringing me a load of stuff,or have I already said that. My memory is going, side effect of being pregnant I guess.

The main things I still need to get is a baby sling (although I have been told there is one for me)and a car seat, I have seen one I want from Babies Galore and will probably get it in the next couple of weeks. I still need to get my hospital bag sorted. I am off work on Wed so might do some then although I have a PS2 game I am totally addicted to at the moment.

In fact when I wasnt 'nesting' on sunday 'Dark Cronicle (Dark Cloud 2)' took over, one good thing about G being away is I can have the PS2 on all evening, cos I am the only one who is effected. Mind you TV isnt THAT good on a night anyway. I spend most of yesterday trying to finish level 2, which I finally did about 8.30pm for those of you who have played Dark Cloud - the second one is a lot more complicated!

Ah well time for work... unless someone wants to do it for me....

you what?

2005-04-07T22:05:00.000+10:00

Today someone asked me if I had lost weight.

I stared at them, with a very shocked look on my face.

And said "what do you think"

8 weeks to go

2005-04-05T14:46:00.000+10:00

how the hell did that happen? I have come to the conclusion that we wont find a place to move to before bubs is born so I will try and get stuff ready at home. I have told my sis in law to drop off the baby clothes she has got for us so I can go through them. I called into Babies Galore on Saturday,hell I like that shop! I only had a quick look around but there is loads that I want. Not to badly priced either. We really need a car seat, my parents have offered to buy us one, I may set up a baby registry on the website. plus it will remind me what I need to get. So far we have cot, buggy/pram and steraliser. Its a start!! I have put my spare toothbrush and body shop facial scrub in a bag for hospital also, so I feel like I have actually done something now.

Ony 6 weeks left at work and the best thing is most of those weeks are not full weeks. Next week I have Wed off the following week its Thursday, mainly cos the girls are off school, week beginning 25 we have the Monday off for Anzac day. I might have the following Monday off as we are going a wedding on the Sunday in Sydney and we dont know what time it finishes. Then the next week is my last one.

YIKES!!!

2 weeks on mat leave and baby is due. This is scary. I have no 'offical' birthplan, although I do think the bottle of whisky is a good idea. I need a nighty for hospital, running around in the nude is ok at home but not in hospital I think. Mind you at home I do put a dressing gown on before leaving the bedroom. Don't wanna scare the kids!!

So I need a nightie... hmmm how about a nice floral nylon?

Last night I dreamt...

2005-03-31T09:33:00.000+10:00

of Alice Cooper.

Sounds odd huh?

I discovered a few days ago that the man himself is coming to the nearest city to me - Newcastle for a gig. This is one act that I would love to see and yet havnt had the chance to. And it seems like I am to be thwarted agin. Ya see hes playing 3 weeks after my due date and being sensible for a change I cant guarantee that I would be able to see him. Plus I cant really afford it.

There is another reason why dear Alice brings back memories. When I was 24 I met a guy called Jon Minshull who was a HUGE Alice Cooper fan, I think the only bigger fan I heard of was his brother. (Those of you who have known me years will be nodding their heads now, remembering that time of our lives)

I totally adored Jon. I met him while I was seperating from my first partner of 7 years, I was still living with Jeff but in seperate rooms. The house was on the market, it was a bit of a shitty time really. Losing my partner of 7 years, my home and I lost my job during that time. I remember thinking this is as low as it can get (I was wrong actually) Looking back I am not surprised at some of the things that I did during that time.

I met Jon at the Highwayman Inn nr Uttoketer one night, this was a night club we used to go to every Friday. Cos that was Rock Night! It was a bit of a trek for me as I lived in Sandbach, Cheshire but hell it was worth it. We used to have a brilliant time. Cant remember the chat up line I used on him, think it was summat along the lines of ' you should smile, be happy' I had some weird lines back then. My favourite one was "Its my Birthday, buy me a drink" then when I had the drink I would thank them and walk off, god i was a bitch at times.

Jon and I got chatting, he was 4 years younger than me - exactly! Birthdays on the same day. I thought he was gorgeous, long wavy blonde hair, I was hooked, we arranged to met at the Alsager Arms on the following night. I was stunned when I walked in and he was there. We dated for 5 weeks, I loved him for 5 years.

During those 5 weeks he spent 2 weeks in Spain, I was actually on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to what was going on in my life. When he came back from Spain we decided to just be friends. But now I think about it, was it my decision or both....

A lot of people didnt believe we where 'just friends' in honesty I am not surprised. I loved him, totally but it was a strange love, spiritual. It was like I had known him for centuries and maybe I had. I used to say 'not this lifetime but maybe next one' I wanted to be with him forever, it was like he was my twin, its very hard to put into words to be honest. We met every week at the Highwayman, spent all evening together and kissed goodbye. I loved those times.

But all good things come to an end, time passed I 'got into a bad crowd' started dating Charls dad, got pregnant and we kinda lost touch.

But when I saw the advert for Alice Cooper I thought about him, I dont know where he lives now, what he is doing or anything. Only thing I think I know hes either married or living with someone, my mate Tina told me that. I hope hes happy. When I needed support during that shitty time, he was there. I dont know if he ever knew how I really felt about him then. But I truly hope hes happy.

What a surprise....

2005-03-29T08:41:00.000+10:00

Apparently GM crops are dangerous to Birds and Bees, what a surprise.

Surprise!

Tick Tock goes the clock....

2005-03-23T08:51:00.000+11:00

Thanks for all your support and comments, I am pleased to say that my back is loads better. I have been very good, not overdoing it, heat packs, warm soaks in the bath, no pain killers though! The problem is my Scatica nerve, its not the first time and I imagine it wont be the last time. If I am very lucky it might clear up before the babe is born but I was thinking about it last night and I seem to recall it going about 5 weeks before Ysi was due, so this time its gone early.

I have another massage booked a week on Saturday, and I discovered that on the way I go past a place called 'Babies Galore' in Cardiff, apparently its a great baby shop so I thought next time I will call in on my way back from Cardiff. This weekend though I really need to make a start on my 'hospital list' so far I have a towel and toothbrush.

Any ideas what else I should take?

Update

2005-03-20T09:22:00.000+11:00

Well I went into work Mon, Tues, Wed and Thursday. Over here you only get a limited number of 'sick' days (like you can control how many days your sick!)and as I havnt any left thanks to the flu 3mths ago I had no real option except to go into work. If we had paid mat leave here I would go on it now, but we dont, so I dragged my body into work. I have 2 walking sticks now to try and take some of the weight off my legs, helps a bit. On Thursday I went the docs, I was exhausted and sick of the pain, the thought of another 10 weeks of this is not good!

He suggested 10 weeks bedrest, I laughed, THAT is impossible in my option. He gave me some mega painkillers but after talking to my Nurse friend and research on the net I have found out they are NOT recommended in pregnancy, so I will only use them in dire emergencies.

I did take Friday off, I did as little as possible, rested up and it did make a difference, in fact I felt great till Charl locked us out of the house....

Ya see I went to collect her from school (saves her walking home in the rain) we where then going to go and get Ysi from her school but Charlotte needed the toilet and being the kind mum that I am I said we could call in home and she could go before we got Ysi. So I gave her my keys and she ran in, went the loo and ran out, pulling the door shut as I shouted for the second time 'dont forget my keys'

BUT she did. So there I was unable to walk, G in Sydney and at least 3 hours away, locked out, no car keys cos they where with my house keys, the only solution was to go the real estate agents to get the spare set.. BUT we have a security gate and guess where the key for that was.

As I am unable to walk and there was only one person in the Real Estate office I elected charl was to go. After much pouting she went. Eventually she got back, I got my keys and we got Ysi. But it was stress I could have done without!

Yesterday (Sat) I had my massage, at first I did feel a bit easier, ok so I was still in pain but not as much however a few hours later I started to get sore ( I was warned I might) however I wasnt expecting the massive bruise to appear that did!

I would say stuff the housework etc, but we have another house inspection on Wed by the landlord (starting to feel paranoid) so it has to be done. And as G is working guess who will be doing it....

Ever seen a woman with 2 walking sticks trying to hoover?

Pain Pain go away.....

2005-03-14T11:37:00.000+11:00

Im miserable. I feel sorry for myself. The reason? My back has gone, I am in constant pain, oh apart from when I am in a warm bath. Trust me the bathroom is now my best friend. I have managed to book myself a massage on Saturday, first appointment the girl had free. I havnt used her before but she was recommended to me by a guy from work. So I am hoping shes ok, she does pregnant women so at least I know I will be in good hands. I dont like taking pain killers but today I had to. Mind you it is good to get everyone running round after me.....

sorted

2005-03-08T09:27:00.000+11:00

It was the network card, been on its way out for a while I reckon. Bloody thing! At least it wasnt expensive.

Im sick of houses, sick of looking, sick of applications, I need somewhere to live, I kick myself for not looking earlier, well I did but G didnt seem to think it a priority then and we missed a few good places. The main problem is so many other people are looking too.

*sigh* what am I to do.........

Good News - Bad News

2005-03-04T18:57:00.000+11:00

I think i passed the diabeties test, I havnt heard from the hospital and apparently thats a good thing....

My home pc is ill, yet another storm last night, I shut down my machine, but today it wants to stay shut down.

I went to look at 3 houses today, 1 is a possible, G went to see one yesterday, that is a probable, so applications will be in tomorrow.

Got to go, Im not on my pc
*sobs*

Lets hope I am back online soon!

Lemonade for brekki? ewwww

2005-03-03T13:06:00.000+11:00

This morning I had a blood test for 'Gestational Diabeties' and an Ante natal check up. First time I have had to have a check for Diabeties, and I have to be honest downing a 'lemonade type drink' at 8am in 3 minutes isnt my idea of breakfast. I'm not a lemonade fan at the best of times, unless its got alcohol in it. But I managed it, the doc asked if I had already had anything to eat or drink. I had a glass of orange juice - well noone told me any different. She told me that was the worst thing I could have had *sigh*... so there is a strong likly hood that I will fail the test. I did a bit of reseach on the web and there are a lot of 'False Positives' so I wont worry too much about it. Unless I have to do the 3hour one, I understand more needles are involved then.... *shudder*

Well the check up went fine, I had to laugh when she was aout to listen to the heart beat and 'spud' decided to do a dance and my stomach was moving like mad, but at least she knew that the babyes fine.

When I wake up in the morning I usually get a kick, I like it, makes me feel secure in a way. Since a friend lost hers just before Christmas I have been a bit paranoid, she was 2 weeks ahead of me and when she went for her 20 week scan they discovered that the baby had died, the cord had got twisted and cut off her blood, food and oxygen supply. Such an unlucky accident. It was about the time I had my amnio test, noone told me that she had lost it for a few weeks, I can understand why.

I am starting to really feel pregnant now, and I am starting to count the weeks till Maternity Leave, I guess it will be even better when I am counting days! I need a break and I am really looking forward to the Easter Weekend, wow 4 days off, I think I will sleep most of them. I feel like I am becoming very insular these days, all I want to do is be at home with my family, even though I am desperate to move, the thought scares me, which is odd as I have lost count of the number of times I have moved. A lot of the time I dont really know what to do with myself, I sit at the computer not doing anything, not chatting, not playing, not surfing. I have got into the habit of swimming on a Saturday morning now, its getting harder to do though, so I float, I get lost in my own world then, its very theraputic and its the only real time I get to myself. I guess I should make the most of it, soon I wont have the time to do anything for myself. I remember the early weeks with a newborn very well. The phrase 'exhaustion' just don't cut it!

Cirque Le Voyageuse

2005-02-28T13:38:00.000+11:00

Saturday we went to see Cirque Le Voyageuse for Ysi's birthday. It was brilliant. I havn't had such a good night out for ages. The acts where excellent, I was on the edge of my seat for a lot of them - which isnt easy these days. The clowns, well lets just say I havn't laughed so much in ages.

I cant remember the last time I went the Circus, I know I went when I was about 8, and I seem to recall going to see one when I was at Glastonbury years ago, but its a bit hazy.....

It was a late night for Ysi but she loved it and now wants to be an acrobat and 'practises' at every opportunity. How sweet.

Today I am a bit pissed off though. We received a letter telling us that our rent is going up by almost $30 a week, (3times the usual) and if thats not bad enough, they only put it up 6mths ago anyway. So now trying to find somewhere else is a priority. Sod the 4 beds, Ill take 3.

Wish us luck!

Reasons................

2005-02-25T11:17:00.000+11:00

Yesterday I did some catch up reading on a few blogs, (yes my net connection is finally fixed, I spend a considerable amount of time at Chez Miscarriage, mainly reading the 'Mother-Drive-Bys' If you have never heard of this (and I hadnt) its worth a read, made me laugh and cry. But it did set me thinking (yea I do that occasionally too).

The 'Mother-Drive-By's' are basically people who belittle your parenting choices. This set me wondering about my own parenting choices in what seems to be the main 3 areas of contempt

1. Breast feed....

Ok yes I do breast feed, ohh good you probably say; after all breast is best..... well yes it is but thats not the reason I do it...
its cos I am a lazy cow.

errrmm yea you read that right, I cant be arsed to steralize and do that formula thingi and er I am too tight to pay for formula, after all I need that money for my booze....

2. Co-sleeping

Have to be honest I wondered just what that meant the first time I read it. And as far as I can gather it involves kicking your partner out of bed and sleeping with the baby.

Hmmmmm first I am wondering are you expected to shag your partner in the lounge then..... Mind you with my 2 previous kids as I was on my own (ohhh gosh yes I was a single parent - please dont burn me at the stake!)so kicking my 'partner' out of bed wasn't really a choice, (I was desperatly trying to find someone to drag into bed!) Have to be honest I am not really into sharing my bed with a baby, I move around a lot and the poor thing is likely to get really miffed with me. However there was a few occasions when I was so knackered that I fell asleep breastfeeding the poor tot in my bed and waking up 3 or 4 hours later when they started feeding again. Have to be honest it wasnt because I thought it would help the 'bonding', its once again cos im a lazy cow .

3. Using a sling....

yea I do this too for the sole reason I am too lazy to push a pram/buggy and its a hell of a lot cheaper.

So cos I am not doing these things for the 'normal' reasons... am I a bad mother? or am I a good one because I do them anyway.

And do I really care what you think anyhow...

I think you all know me well enough to know my answer.....

2005-02-23T13:35:00.000+11:00

G should (hopefully) be back tomorrow, thank god the place aint the same without him. I have ordered a new Modem should be here either today or tomorrow, probably be tomorrow, then I get both net and him back at the same time.

Today is Ysi's birthday.. so tonight its cake and take out, god I do spoil the kids!

Rain Rain go away......

2005-02-21T08:20:00.000+11:00

Its been a weekend of storms, ending with an almightly bang on Sunday, one which unfortunatly knocked out our home network..... SO I HAVE NO FUCKING NET AT HOME!!!!

Im a tad pissed off about that....

Ya see G left for Tasmania 4am Friday hes not back till this Friday, (I am missing him like hell) and since then its been a shitty time.....

1. The tube in the kitchen has gone and I cant get up there to remove it now, so I am using a desk lamp to cook by!

2. Charlotte went to a sleep over, but forgot to actually sleep, I have been putting up with the 'fall out' all weekend.

3. We have had storms all weekend, and last night it blew something and I now cant get on the net, as G is away and he set up the ADSL and its more like spagetti than a network I am reluctant to try and fix it, I will have to speak to him tonight about it.

4. All the rain has leaked into our bedroom and we now have an indoor pool. ABOVE where all the electrical equipment is in the lounge. (Imagine cleaning that up at 10pm)

5. I left my mobile charger at work......... no freaking mobile all weekend.

Roll on Next weekend I need a break!

Another one bites the dust....

2005-02-18T13:16:00.000+11:00

Im pissed off, really pissed off, and its my bosses fault. I never normally blog about work but today I am so pissed off. The boss is a bully, 3 PA's in 12 months! The third one went off 'sick' yesterday, with stress. I am not bloody surprised.

Personally I think we should find a nice d**** and stick it up his a****, then get a d***** to f*** him till its d*** appears from his m****.

Then I would arrange for a dominatrix to bend him over and w*** his a*** till it b*****,get him to **** c*** till he cant s*** anymore.

I didnt want any dodgy search engines landing here hence the black outs.

Thank you and have a good weekend

Bugger

2005-02-16T13:58:00.000+11:00

and bother, we didnt get the house.

In reality, I know it was too big and too expensive but we need to move, desperatly. I have this fear of having 3 children in the small 2bed house that we live in now. Its too darn small!!

Oh well back to the drawing board as they say

Paper and Pens

2005-02-14T19:42:00.000+11:00

Charlottes gone to camp for 2 days, feels like a week, I soo miss the kids when they are not here. Next week G goes to Tasmania for a week with work, that im dreading even more, we rarly spend a night apart (yea sucky I know) considering I was a confirmed single female when I met him I changed very fast. Mind you I have a nice selection of Girly movies to watch when hes away, icecream to eat and I will spend quality time with the kids.

We haven't heard about the house yet, hopefully in the next few days we will. The landlord is getting several applications then making a decision, there is one good thing though a friend of mine who is a landlord has put in a good word for us. Boy did I appreciate that.

Its been a hectic week, isnt it always, my belly is getting big I had to go and buy some more maternity gear this weekend, I am now walking with a tad of a waddle, sometimes I cant belive I am pregnant and yet here I am big belly and kicks several times a day, certain food still makes me feel ill, I am drinking milk (which I hate) by the pint. Rolling over in bed is now a major art, lieing on the floor is a definate no no, unless I want to stay there until someone helps me up. So far my back hasnt been too bad.. but I know its waiting till I am at my most vunerable and then it will strike. I still havnt decided when I will go on maternity leave, every week I change my mind, 4 weeks, 2 weeks oh hell why not work up till my waters break!

Also when I finish is influenced by the fact I got a loan from work for my car a year or so ago, at this moment in time I will finish paying it 1 week before the babe is born, so today I put the payments up, I would rather pay it off early then If needs be I can finish early.

I bought myself a new book today, Belle-de-Jour's book is finally released here, so I picked up a copy, have to say I was in fits of laughter, she writes really well, I have only read the first few pages and will probably finish it tonight later, I needed some new material to read and who knows I might pick up a tip or two ......

Pray for me!!

2005-02-07T14:13:00.000+11:00

Ok any of you lot out there religious?? If so I need a favour... (Tabs I know your already on the case :))

I want to move house, we have seen a couple that we like and have put an application in on one, I need you to pray to any God or Goddess you have a preference for and get us moved to a bigger property!!

Just remember the mantra

"lizz will get the house she applied for...lizz will get the house she applied for.......... lizz will get the house she applied for....."

get the idea?

Good, once we move a party will be organised!

Musings

2005-02-03T21:43:00.000+11:00

Ok I'm crap, I have no excuse for lack of posting. Its not htat I dont have anything to say, ha I have plently but I havnt had the time. Even at home I feel the need to clean (yea ok another pregnancy side effect. Ive not read some blogs for days, I feel bad about that.

I had an antenatal app yesterday, it went well the midwife was excellent, I do hope she is on when I go into labour. Mainly because she said she hoped I had a 'naturalish' birth. That might sound odd but so far I have had one C-section and one Ventouse. A normal birth would be nice. I always wanted to have a water birth, hell I even chose the name Nimue for my first daughter (now called Charl) because it was the name of a water sprite. But due to complications that decision is no longer available to me. Because of my past deliveries I will be monitored constantly, but this midwife actually seems to want to give me a normal as possible birth. I liked that.

With Ysi's birth I had Chumba playing, I havnt decided what it will be this time, I have started a birth plan, but knowing me it may change several times. One thing I DONT want is pethidine - ewww that stuff is BADDDD. Didnt work for me and made me feel shitty. With Ysi I had gas and air and opted for an epidural just in case I ended up with another C-section. That worked kinda well considering, but the midwife told me they dont do many epidurals, that does worry me slightly, I want someone who knows what they are doing. My back is bad enough without me risking it getting worse.

Its 12 years since I went to an ante-natal class, G is interested in going, so I will look into it, plus I think it might give me an insite into what goes on over here, after all this is my first child on Australian soil. And of course its G's first child ever.

I am enjoying the pregnancy more, maybe its because im in a secure relationship, I did say I would never have another child unless I was married, being a single parent is a very difficult job, but at the time it was the way I wanted it. Charl's dad is now a drug addict, and Ysi... well those who know me know why I find that difficult to talk about. I am considering putting the name Robin/Robyn into this childs name in memory of him. I still feel him around, especially when its a difficult time. I have felt him with me during this pregnancy. I still miss him, I was chatting online the other day to an old friend who went to the funeral with me, he still misses him too. He was unique, most definately! When I was expecting Ysi he made a tape for me, full of music, i did want to give birth listening to that, but the best laid plans..... I still have the tape, its him playing his guitar and singing. After his death I played it to his sister, she had never heard him, I ended up doing a copy of it for her.

On a different note I read |The Da Vinci code" this week, bloody good read. My mate Tina recommended it to me, I am now wondering whether to read another of his books, any recommendation would be appreciated.

Ok I have waffeled on enough and its getting late.

ciao for now!

Home

2005-01-31T13:41:00.000+11:00

Well its been a week since I updated, lazy arnt I. Not so much lazy as rushed off my feet. One of my aunts passed away a few days ago, my dad is very upset and so am I, she was his eldest sister and an absolutly wonderful person. Death always upsets me, especially since Rob died, oddly enough I 'bumbed' into an old friend of mine online over the last few days, he now has a pc so we can chat regulary. We chatted about Rob aka Sicknote, hell I nearly started crying in the office when he said that he missed him. I dont suppose I will ever get over his death, I just learn to live with it. Seems such a waste...

He drowned at 9 ladies, I learnt from my mate that there have been 2 other deaths at the site, one air, one water, one fire... maybe the goddess is calling us home.....

Why is life never simple.........

2005-01-25T18:46:00.000+11:00

When your daughters high school tells you at the open evening that you can buy the school uniform at Lowes, and the handbook you are given tells you the same, you kinda expect it to be fairly simple.....

So imagine my surprise when I called Lowes this am and where told

'No we dont have it, they have a new uniform and we haven't had any stocks of it'

AHHHH what do I do!!

Try the school they told me..

So I called the school, and a very unhelpful guy answered.

Him: ermmm I think someone will be here on Thursday selling them
Me: thats no good I work

Him: ermmm I think someone will be here next week selling them

note school starts Monday!

Me:: I think that might be a bit late, if I just get a black skirt and blouse will that do?

Him: ermmm yes I think most people will be wearing that because they havnt been able to get hold of the uniform

Ever felt like screaming!!

Worse was to come.... I asked him when year 7 goes back to school, I wanted to confirm it was 1 Feb, he told me no, all the school EXCEPT year 7 starts 1 Feb. Year 7 starts 31 Jan, now I am totally confused.

Also why is it no shop has BLACK SCHOOL SKIRTS!!! Is it a conspiricy? Not one shop stocks them, even the one 'suppose' to be selling the uniform where not told that the skirt had been changed to black.

I am beginning to dislike this school already......

Sydney again

2005-01-24T21:47:00.000+11:00

Yesterday morning I went out looking for a present for a baby girl, yes I know its cutting it fine doing it a couple of hours prior to leaving for Sydney, but hey when do I ever get time.

I was really looking forward to this party, the couple with the baby (V&J) have known G for years, they used to live near him but moved to Sydney. I had never met them, but heard him speak very highly of them.

Anyway the reason for the party was their baby daughters 1 month welcoming, I dont know the correct name for the celebration, its a Chinese custom, like the UK they dont have a baby shower but wait until the baby is born.

Anyway as we set off the heavens opened and it rained and rained, thunder lightening the lot. One of my pet terrors it driving in the pouring rain, I know G was driving but it still terrifies me. Then after driving on the freeway for 15 mins the windscreen wiper packed up, ohhhh myyyy gooooddd I was nearly sobbing, yes folks I was bloody terrified, surprised bubs wasnt born there and then! G drove slower and Iprayed to any god or godess that would listen to get us to the garage safely. Not sure which one listened but one did. We got to the garage and G fixed the windscreen wiper. I took deep breaths... practised my breathing exercises... LOTS!

After about 45mins the rain cleared up, and I relaxed - kinda.

We where the first to arrive at the party - well we where early (dont ya just hate that!) V&J lived up to the reputation that G had given them, they are lovely people!! I relaxed straight away and helped them sort the party stuff out. There were about 80 people plus children in total, they had arranged for caterers to do the food, and it was sooo yummy! I got to meet loads of new people, had a wonderful time, ate some excellent food, I was sorry to leave, but leave we had too with a 2 hour drive back.

I was so glad to climb into bed last night!

Tomorrow I am off work going shopping for Charls new uniform for high school, im kinda nervous about her going, its hell being a mum sometimes!

That was a week that was!

2005-01-22T21:20:00.000+11:00

I am so glad this week is over, its been manic! I was tired anyway on Monday and was kinda hoping for a quite week at work. But as life goes it didnt happen, we had a proposal to get out and the guy who was doing it decided he wanted full design work done on it.... and guy whos job THAT is. Every night this week I came home exhausted, basically fell asleep each evening - hence no posts! Friday I ended up skipping my lunch break, and when he came through to ask me for more changes at 2mins to 5, I nearly cryed, but luckily he looked at the clock and said what time do you knock off? 5pm I said and nearly ran out of the door. Oh well at least I know I wont be bored on Monay! But after many hours typing and designing and redesigning we came up with a first draught, so I feel like I achieved something.

I seriously need to try and get some time to get Charls uniform for high school, god knows when! Today I was so exhausted and tomorrow its off to Sydney (again) for a Chinese Baby Welcoming I'm looking forward to that.

I am off for a soak - think I deserve it.

Oh and baby is so active its amazing, only problem is the night cramps, and ideas are appreciated!!
x for now

The Zoo

2005-01-16T21:08:00.000+11:00

Odd i did a post this morning and its gone, pah typical!

Anyway today we went to Toronga Zoo for Charl's birthday, ok so her birthday isn't until Tuesday, but I will be working them, her best friend came too. Took us about 2 hrs to get there, I was a bit concerned cos it was very overcast and even started to rain at one point. We got there ok, parking was easy and so we set off. The Zoo is basically on the side of a slope, we thought we would start at the top, and when we got to the bottom we would take the cable car ride back to the start, that way seeing the zoo from a different angle (we did that at Chester Zoo back in the UK - that place is well worth a trip too). I think one of the beauties of Toronga is the amount of bush there is, its great all these exhibits and animals surrounded by beautiful bush land. Now I don't approve of animals being made to 'perform' but the rest of the family wanted to watch the 'Seal Show', It was good, and I did feel guilty watching it. I think one of the most breathtaking things was the view of Sydney Harbour, I really dont think this pic does it justice.

We walked for hours, saw everything, got to the bottom of the slope by this time I and the girls where exhausted. Then we discovered that the cable car was out of action! I couldn't belive it, it had been working earlier, we had seen it. We just all looked at each other, nothing for it though we had to walk back to the top. It wasn't as bad as it could be, we took it slowly, by this time the sun was out. The thought of getting an ice-cream was the incentive the girls (and I needed). A few pics are here.

I loved the trip out and so did the girls, we all got a bit burnt though, I would definatly go back, especially as they are in the process of building a load of new areas. The only embarrasing bit was G pointing out to the girls the two tigers fighting, then realising it wasnt fighting they where doing. I guess they where just doing there bit to fight extinction.

H H H How Much!

2005-01-14T13:06:00.000+11:00

Today at lunchtime I went and finally bought myself a maternity bra, I should have done it ages ao but time is scarse in my life.

Anyway the price $70 (and size) horrified me, I will be skint long before Jnr is born at this rate.

Note to self

2005-01-13T13:45:00.000+11:00

Do NOT read blogs when I need to pee, especially the funny ones.

2005-01-12T09:19:00.000+11:00

Not a clear scan, unfortunatly Jnr curled up and didnt want to be photographed, but you can make out the head and back and an arm ect if you know where to look. The sonographer said everything looks fine, so lets just hope it stays that way.

Singing the blues..........

2005-01-11T13:31:00.000+11:00

Today I feel sad, no scrap that, - today I feel miserable.

Yesterday I said goodbye to my dad and stepmum, after 6 wonderful weeks they went back to the UK. Having them here for Christmas and New Year was wonderful, I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it, I don't remember the last time I spent Christmas with my dad, I have never spent it with my stepmum, and in all reality this is possibly the last time I will. We made the most of the last few days, eating out, watching the children swim, just chatting about anything. I am glad I got the amnio results before they left, it made them feel happier about it all. When they arrived my bump wasn't even showing - now I am so definatly into my maternity clothes.

I wish I could write in words how I enjoyed having them here, they spent a lot of time with the children too, having them for the day when G and I where working last week, babysitting for us when we went out over Christmas. They have never babysit or had the children for the day before this holiday. When I lived in the UK I always got my mum to do it.

The feeling of sadness/loss is strange, for the last few weeks I have seen them everyday. My first thought on leaving work has been about going to see them. When G asked last night if they got off OK, I couldnt talk about it, even Ysi was crying -that I didnt expect.

They left about 11am yesterday, the girls and I waved them off with 'S' who is one of the girls tho works at the motel, she was sobbing too. She did call round to see me about an hour after I got home, I really appreciated that.

They stayed at the local motel, and I have to say its beautiful, we sat outside in the garden there yesterday while waiting for the taxi to take them the airport, apart from the fact I wouldn't have fitted all there luggage and wheelchair in my car, I think driving them to the airport would have broken my heart.

After they left I cleaned the house, I hadn't done it for a few days, (I wanted to spend the time with them) and cleaning yesterday took my mind of things, well that and the ice cream did.

I have my 20 weeks scan later today, should get a pic, if I do I will post it tomorrow.

Update

2005-01-08T20:10:00.000+11:00

Seems like you can make a difference when you and a load of other women get together.... see post below for background

Going to Jail for miscarrying? It just might happen...

2005-01-08T09:33:00.000+11:00

Its rare that I do 2 posts in one day, but this is madness. I read Chez Miscarriage and was directed to this.

Representative John Cosgrove has recently introduced a bill to the Virginia legislature that will make it a misdemeanor crime for any woman who's experienced a miscarriage - at any stage of gestation - to fail to report that miscarriage to local law enforcement personnel within twelve hours.

Most miscarriages occure when the woman didnt even know she was pregnant. What are you suppose to do, send off your sanitary products 'just in case'.

Some idiots like him make me puke!

Hobbies

2005-01-08T09:15:00.000+11:00

I have a new hobby... Belly watching, mine that is, I havnt suddenly started having strange sexual urges towards bellys.

Mine jumps when jnr kicks me, cute really

Relief

2005-01-05T11:15:00.000+11:00

The relief is amazing, I feel like I can relax and enjoy this pregnancy now. I hadn't really thought about what I would do if there was a problem, I kinda thought I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Now we need to start looking for a place to live, ideally I would like to have moved in 2 months, before I get too big. Already my bump is showing and I have had to buy larger clothes, what an excuse eh?

To be honest after such an horrific start to the year, its good to hear something positive. I found out yesterday that my eldest gave her Xmas money to the relief fund, I am so proud of her, she dosn't get a lot of cash so I know how much it means to her. Ysi tells me its sad when they show it on the news, I dont think she really comprehends it, everytime I watch it I shed tears. So many people, so many children.

When I watch the news and hear all about the Tsunami and then it switches to the war in Irac, I find it very ironic, on one hand we are trying to save people and then in the next breath you hear about people being blown up.

Strange world we live in really.

Results!!!!!!!

2005-01-04T14:15:00.000+11:00

Got a phone call this lunchtime from the hospital, the results are in....

All Clear, I am so relieved.

Will update when I am not at work
x