Last Friday was the funeral, unfortunatly I didnt go. I got up, I showered, I washed my hair, and was half way through making a cup of tea when it hit me. A migrane. Its the most severe and fastest migrane I have had for 20 years. I quickly got some pain killers and tried to carry on. I even set out to take the kids to school but didnt get very far... I threw up 5 times in the car. I turned round and came home, Charlotte walked to school. My neighbour took Ysi. I came back in and Graeme looked at me in horror (apparently I looked pretty bad) I dont even remember what I said to him. He had already arranged the day off for the funeral but instead spent the day looking after Daughter No3 bringing her up to me in bed for a feed. It took a few days to get over it, I was so upset at missing the funeral, I have spoken to people from work since they got me a copy of the funeral Liturgy too, I saw a bit of it on TV but its not the same. So I lit a candle and made my peace.
I feel funerals do bring a sense of 'closure' I still cant really talk about it to people without bringing tears to my eyes, mind you even now I cant talk about Rob without that happening and its been over 4 years. I always say 'you dont get over it, you learn to deal with it'. Now I have to learn to deal with this one.
